I’m leaving soon. In precisely two weeks, I’m going to park my stuff out of the office and head back to my real life. The life of being around. I work on contracts. Since I earned my first dimes 8 years ago, I have been on contract. This might seem like a good thing because there are those people who are suffering from having that same boring job because of the security or that same seat in the hallway next to the loos or that nag of a manager year-in-year-out. I mean there are numerous reasons why people would rather trade places with mine…to have a new boss every few months, work from home or in a crappy office, or travel to someplace far from home that you lose your sense of direction…or plain meeting new people, making new friends….or discovering funny cultures. Sounds like bliss, right?
No, there is nothing blissful about it…..at least all is well until the goodbyes kick in. I can’t call myself a traveler but my contracts have to some extent made me move far and wide around my native land. So, I have done a lot of packing and unpacking over the years. I have made new friends more times than I blink that people on the streets are beginning to look way too familiar. Each face reminds me of a face I know…I knew…I saw…I remember…I met. This is the part of my life which I would like to edit. I know with each contract is heartache. I have said so many goodbyes that they no longer make sense to me. I stopped feeling that pinch in my heart….the sting of tears….the hesitation to depart. So, as a defense mechanism, I stopped attaching emotions to this life I’m leaving. It already takes me long to get comfortable around new people….and by the time I do, it’s time for goodbyes. Actually, I spend most of my time sulking my heart out than embracing the moment.
In two weeks, I’m going to pack my things like all the other times before and leave this place. I am not going to look back…..not like it’s going to be easy since this contract has been longer than all the others before. So yes, an unlikely friendship was formed. I didn’t see this coming….even if I tried to keep all forms of human-like attachments at bay. From where I’m standing…..this goodbye is sure going to hurt like hell 😦
RANDOM THOUGHTS 